Move It or Lose It: An Anthology for Mystery Lovers

Released March 21, 2023 from Mysteries to Die For, for your puzzle solving pleasure

Vehicles define eras and are a means for advancing economies from traditional to high mass-consumption. They can also play diverse roles within amazing stories.

A train was the setting for Agatha Christie’s famed Murder on the Orient Express. A river boat then took center stage on Death on the Nile. Stephan King’s Christine showed us a blood thirsty side, while in real life, the disappearance of Emelia Earhart and her plane continues to tease imaginations. Cars have been prominently featured in American crime stories with the glory of the getaway vehicle. Then there are the heists from carriages to trains to armored trucks.

Twelve different ways to move it. Twelve stories arranged for you to deduce the truth. It’s a race between you and the detective. Will you catch the culprit or be the one to lose it?  😉 (You knew it was coming.)

A charter fishing boat. An ambulance. A high-tech roadster. A flat-bed tow truck. A converted bus. A cold-war era VW. A locomotive. A prized horse. An airport shuttle. A Winnebago. A horse-drawn carriage. A roller coast train.

Original stories from Ed Teja, Chuck Brownman, Colin Conway, KM Rockwood, Craig Faustus Buck, Erica Obey, Ken Harris, Paul A Berra, Karina Bartow, Kyra Jacobs, TG Wolff, and Jack Wolff.

Paperback available from Amazon. E-book available from all digital retailers with special pricing through June 30, 2023.

M2D4 Toe Tag: Duplicity

Duplicity by Shawn Wilson is a mystery, the kind I call a “follow along.” Brick Kavanagh is officially retired from the Washington DC police Homicide Squad. Unofficially, he’s got a few irons in the fire. The most promising is an airline stewardess named Nora that just might be worth relocating to Chicago. A potential paying gig, Brick is invited to mentor law students through a cold case in their own back yard. Then there is the thing that happens to his partner’s wife. For that, everything else can wait.

Bottom line: Duplicity is for you if you like appealing characters getting in the weeds of missing persons and cold case mysteries.

Listen to the first chapter here or wherever you get Mysteries to Die For podcast.

Strengths of the story. Brian “Brick” Kavanaugh is a strong leading character who you want to succeed. The secondary characters are equally engaging and, always a winner with me, I could keep them straight. The “missing person” and “cold case” storylines hold up front-to-back and then back-to-front. The rapid storytelling style is engaging and keeps you wanting to know what happens next.

Where the story fell short of ideal. While there were no plot holes, the main storyline pivoted to resolution on a coincidence, not Brick’s actions or deductions. Being a mystery fanatic, I look for the detectives to drive to the solution. In this case, he was more in the right place at the right time, which falls short of ideal. Notably, Brick does drive the solution of the secondary storyline. If it wasn’t for him sticking with what should have been a dead-end lead and pressing buttons marked “do not touch” then the status quo would have been sadly maintained.

Hippy Saves the World Episode 5: You

I left St. Francisville, Louisiana with a full belly thanks to Anne Butler and the Butler Greenwood Plantation B&B. I didn’t stick around for the fallout from the night before. Those children in adult clothes were someone else’s problem. I had my own occupying my mind. I headed north and east, avoiding the interstates for the back roads that were a hell of a lot more interesting and safer. The hills and valleys, curves and turns were the reason I would always pick a bike over a cage.

But I digress.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that this solo run began with me ending the life of an asshole. Like I said, it’s not a judgement, it’s a fact. Dexter Green made himself bigger by stepping on people, grinding them down until they saw themselves as the gum stuck to his shoe. I’d been thinking on tactics to get him to adjust his style, how to get it through his head that you don’t build a team by knocking heads together when I pulled onto the job site. Our company, like most good construction companies, required us to back in.

It’s safer.

The National Highway Transportation Safety Board crash data for 2018 showed there were 200,000 accidents where the vehicle at fault was backing up. Another 44,000 accidents were from leaving a parking space and 22,000 from entering a parking space. Easy to see why insurance companies and others who have to pay for the accidents like the first motion to be forward. For parking in a perpendicular space, that means pulling through or backing in.

In the spirit of full disclosure, the #1 crash vehicle maneuver was going straight. Nearly 5.4 million accidents with over 27,000 fatalities happened when people weren’t doing anything fancy.

Why aren’t the money people addressing that? Well, they are. What do you think all of the PSAs for driving sober and not texting and driving are for?

Beyond that? Well, you can’t fix stupid.

That’s why when I’m riding, I have to watch everywhere.

Where am I going with all this?

You’re an impatient fucker, aren’t you? I’m telling this story and I’ll get to the point in my own time.

Okay, now’s the time.

If Dexter Green was standing in the parking space when I pulled in, I would have seen him when I turned the truck around.

There were two vehicles. Tim’s fancy new Honda and Dexter’s fancier Chevy Silverado. Nobody was around. Not in the parking area, not anywhere I saw.

So, where the hell did he come from?

Not the trailer. It was across the driving path from where I parked. If he’da come out of there, he would have crossed in front of me.

Not the work site. We were working at a couple different places in the plant, but they were all behind me. Dexter would have had to either cross in front of me, which he didn’t, or behind me. If he did that, no way he would have gotten to the parking area faster than me. Dexter didn’t move at ten miles an hour if there was free barbecue for lunch.

Great.

It’s starting to rain. Which means, I’m gonna get wet.

Teresa and the kids bought me rain gear a few years back. Good stuff, too. Legit Harley Davidson.

But I don’t wear them.

The temperature was warm enough when you’re standing still. At seventy miles an hour, rain soaked through denim, eventually it got in and under my leathers. Next thing you know, the windchill turned June back into March. I took a break around Birmingham, Alabama, for the first time thinking about where I was headed.

With a hot cup of coffee and a brisket sandwich in front of me, I scrolled through my phone contacts to see who was in the area.

I didn’t have to go too far. In the alphabet, I mean.

Chattanooga.

Remember that snake in preacher’s clothing back in Nashville? Well, my buddy Ron was his opposite. I may have mentioned him. He started his own construction company some years back, in addition to his preaching. It took all of three seconds to decide Chattanooga, Tennessee was my next stop. I called. He called back and I had a place to sleep.

The way the GPS takes you, it’s a solid eight hours between St. Francesville and Lookout Mountain, Tennessee. The way I went it was closer to ten hours.

I was more than happy when I pulled into Ron’s driveway. He lived in a bungalow, on the high side of the street. Before I cut the engine, the garage door was going up and my friend walked out.

“Pull her in,” he said, pointing to the empty spot in his double wide garage.

He didn’t have to tell me twice.

Ron didn’t ride but he knew plenty who did. He had a shower, dry towels, and a hot meal waiting. By the time I washed the road and rain off, my legs remembered how this walking thing went. I sat at Ron’s table, reminiscing about the projects we’d done together, the people we knew.

“Everything going good with the business?” I asked.

He nodded. “Real good. I’m havin’ trouble keepin’ up it’s so good.” Ron went on, telling me about the projects and his crew. He talked a good game, but I could tell something was bothering him. He kept toeing up to it, and then retreated, asking me instead if I wanted more to drink, then to eat.

I was curious and amused at the same time. I let it go for a while and then it felt kinda wrong. “Ron, it seems like there something you’re trying not to tell me.”

He was shocked, guess he thought he was hiding it, then he grinned. “I forgot just how perceptive you were.”

“No using ten letter words against me,” I said, giving him my dead pan stare. “I’m just an idiot, you know that.”

Laughter burst out. “You are not, and everybody knows that.” Then he sobered up. “I have a problem, one you could help me with. One of my superintendents is out for a few days unexpectantly. Now I have two jobs tomorrow and one guy to run it. Me. Both crews are good but raw. They can’t do the work without a strong superintendent.”

I raised an eyebrow.

Ron studied his scarred hands. “I was dreddin’ havin’ to call either client to back out and tellin’ one of the crews they weren’t goin’ to have a pay day tomorrow. I prayed on it, tryin’ to make a decision I didn’t want to make.” He looked up. “Then you called.”

I thought about it. This felt right. “Call me Mr. Serendipity.”

He barked out another laugh. “What happened to despisin’ ten letter words?”

“Still stands. Serendipity has eleven.”

**-(-)-**

The next morning, I set up for a day under a blue sky with just enough clouds to keep it comfortable. The crews got going, finishing grading the site and setting the footers for a future day’s concrete pour. Some of the guys were rough, but I’d seen rougher. They needed coaching here and there, but all in all, it was an easy day.

Leaning on the handle of a shovel, waiting for the excavator to finish, a laborer named Sully started filling the time. “How’s your wife doing at the bank, Max?”

“She keeps flippin’ between pissed and depressed. Last night, Michelle was so mad, the dog spent the night sitting on my lap. This morning, I thought she was gonna burst into tears.”

“It’s just not right,” Sully said, then he looked at me. “His wife’s been working at that bank for like ten years—”

“Eight,” Max corrected.

“Eight is like ten,” Sully argued. “Anyway, she goes into work one day and there’s this kid sitting in the empty office. Turns out, they hired this guy two years out of college, gave him the fancy office with the glass door, and the title of assistant vice president.”

“Whatever the fuck that means,” Max muttered.

“It means more money, is what it means.”

Alright. They got me. “What does your wife do at the bank?”

“She does financial analysis and modeling.” He snorted. “I know, don’t know what she sees in me. She’s smart and she’s good at what she does. Nobody else does what she can and that includes the new assistant vice president. She’s pretty sure, when he reads her results, he doesn’t know what he’s looking at.”

Sully stepped forward and put the shovel to good use, talking as he did. “They never even told her there was a job open, did they Max? Nosiree. They just went on the hunt for a college boy. Totally ignored the hard-working employee they already had.” He kept on talking, but I have to say he worked as fast as he talked. “It’s bull shit. Everyone’s talking about how no one can find any good people and then this bank goes and fucks her up the ass—no offense, Max —I mean why would you toss over a good woman when you know, you absolutely know, you couldn’t replace her? She should go to another bank.”

Max didn’t talk as much as Sully, but he worked just as hard. “She’s considering it.”

“Well, she should,” Sully went on. “Another bank would prolly snap her up. And give her a raise. And a fancy title.”

“Maybe,” Max said. “Thing is, she likes her bank. It’s close to home. She knows everyone there and most of the customers. Going somewhere else would be like leaving her friends.”

“There’s something to that,” I said. “A lot of people stay with a job for their co-workers, not for the company.”

“Especially when that company’s bein’ stupid.” Sully punctuated it by spitting instead of using an exclamation point.

I listened while they worked and wondered if it was more than rain that brought me to Chattanooga. It seemed to me that there might be a wrong here in need of righting.

When we broke for lunch, I went over to that bank with Max. He said he needed to bring his wife something, but I think he was just checking on her. The bank wasn’t but a couple miles up the road. The building was small, sitting on a corner. The front was glass windows and the rest brick.

We stepped inside and the air conditioning slapped me in the face. The set up was pretty standard for a bank. There was the long, wood grain counter with room for four tellers. Only two were open and both had customers. The corner office was plain by anyone’s standards. It had a desk that faced the wall of windows with two chairs in front of it. A bookcase sat against the solid wall. It had a few framed things, one might have been a diploma, and some books. It was mostly empty shelf.

“That’s the new guy,” Max said with some salt on his words. “His name’s Brandon Marlow.

Behind the desk was a man. He leaned back in the chair, his desk phone pinned between his ear and shoulder. He tossed a pint-sized basketball into the air.

The office next door was skinnier by a quarter and had no windows. The woman at that desk looked intently at her monitor, her fingers moving over the keyboard. She must have liked what she saw because she grinned. She turned her head, saw Max, and that grin turned into a smile.

Or maybe the smile turned into a grin. Not sure which is bigger.

“That’s my wife,” he said as she rose. “Michelle.”

“I figured.”

Her phone musta rang because she gave us the international symbol to wait and pick up the handset. For everything Max and Sully said, Michelle looked happy. She sat back in her chair, those fast fingers working like lightning over her keyboard, laughing at whatever she heard.

“Angie,” Brandon Marlow said, leaning out of his office. “Come in here and show me where we keep the loan reports for last year.”

A woman sitting at a desk not in an office rolled her eyes, stood, and turned toward the office. “Maybe if you wrote it down this time.”

“It’s not my fault the filing system is so complicated.”

Max snorted. “Typical.”

Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t. There are times I’d sooner throw a computer out the window than use it and I don’t consider it an issue on my side.

Michelle came out of her office, her face bright enough to read by. “Well, what a nice surprise. What did do to deserve this?”

Max waited for her to cross the open floor, then kissed her temple. “Just wanted you to meet Hippy. He’s out here helping us and Ron for a few days. He’s from Indiana.”

Just like I thought. He didn’t need to bring her nothing. “Nice to meet you, Michelle.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” she said. “How long are you going to be in Chattanooga?”

“Two days. Maybe three. That’s the most my bike tolerates being in one place.”

She laughed and put her hand on mine. “Why don’t you come to dinner tonight? It’s nothing fancy, just chicken and whatever I decide to put with it.”

“Michelle.” Her name was said by Brandon Marlow.

You know when you’re reading a book and it says a person’s face fell and you’re like, faces don’t fall. Well, Michelle’s did. One minute, she was a bright, joyful woman and the next it was like a shadow came over her and sucked away all that light.

She shifted and looked his way. “Yes, Brandon?”

“Can you come in here? There’s something I don’t understand about these projections.”

“Of course, he doesn’t.” She turned back to us on a long, quiet sigh. “Dinner will be ready about six.”

Dinner with Max and his family was a nice way to end a productive day. The weather was kind to us and Ron’s crews had gotten farther than we hoped, thanks to a trick or two of mine. We would be pouring concrete tomorrow. I had it ordered for seven.

I had twelve whole hours until I had to worry about that.

Over chicken smothered in a sauce, I dug in on Michelle’s problem. “What do you do?” I asked, acting dumb. “It must be impressive to have an office.”

She rolled her eyes. “Financial forecasting and analysis.” She giggled at my reaction. “It guess it does sound boring, but I love numbers.”

“You must have some fancy title, I’m guessing. Let me guess. . .” I drew it out. “Vice president of forecasts.”

This time, she outright laughed. “I wish. I have the very beige title of Data Analyst.” She shrugged, glanced at Max. “I guess I don’t have the right equipment to have VP after my name.”

He covered her hand. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“The man in the corner office? He’s new,” she said, then filled me in on the story and the details Sully didn’t know.

“Who gave him the job?” I asked. “Somebody must have hired him.”

“Our illustrious Assistant VP was hired by our uninspiring VP. Wilson Maddox.” She played with her food, her fork chasing the rice around the plate. “He works out of the main office, downtown.” The fork started stabbing at the rice. “He comes to our branch like once a month, his nose up in the air like it smells bad. He never gets Angie’s name right. Alice. Agnes. Anna.” She threw the fork down, metal slapping against porcelain. “I mean, how hard is it to remember someone’s name?”

“It isn’t hard,” I said. “And it is important. That’s how you show people you see them.”

“That is exactly his problem, Hippy. Maddox doesn’t see anyone who isn’t a White male with a degree from a school that’s been in the Men’s Final Four in the last decade. I worked damn hard for my degree and I’m damn good at my job. But does he see it?”

“Nope,” Max said, realizing it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

Michelle picked up the fork again. I leaned back. Just in case.

“No, he does not. Because he doesn’t want to. He comes into our branch and looks at us like we’re Mayberry and he’s Charlotte. Well, he is not. And I would put my forecast up against anyone’s.”

Max rested his hand on Michelle’s forearm. “Take it easy, honey. Getting riled doesn’t help.”

**-(-)-**

I made an appointment with Wilson Maddox for later the next day. I wanted to put eyes on him myself. The day’s work had been another good one, and I still wore a good portion of it on my clothes. I coulda cleaned up some, but I wanted to see his reaction.

Disturbed was the best word I could come up with. He wasn’t disgusted, like dirt and dust appalled him. He just didn’t want it in his world. He definitely didn’t want it in his office.

“Me and my crew are building a bank,” I said, thinking as fast as I was talking. “There’s something not right about the layout but I build banks, not work in them. One of the crew, his wife Michelle works up in your Lookout Mountain branch. She gave me the idea of talking to you.”

“Michelle? In our Lookout branch?” His eyebrows did that knitting thing, then he put two and two together and came up with four. “The analyst. She suggested you talk to me?”

“It didn’t go like that,” I said. “It was my idea.” I went into asking him a whole bunch of questions about banks that didn’t matter. I snuck in a few that did. I’ll give him credit, he talked to me for a full thirty minutes, only shuttling me out when his computer sounded with his 15-minute warning.

You know that sound, Outlook users.

I drove to Ruby Falls, finding a spot of beauty to do my thinking. Here’s where I was. Wilson Maddox was not a total asshole. He wasn’t mean or cruel, but he was blind. He had these ideas of perfect and anyone who didn’t fit the mold, he didn’t see. Unlike some others, he wasn’t emotional about it. He didn’t hate anyone. He just overlooked and went on.

I suspected, if I had asked the question, he would even had said it was for the benefit of the bank.

The question was. . . how to help him see the light in Michelle and everyone else he looked over?

The next day was slow while the concrete came up to strength. Ron was so thrilled, he only balked a little when I asked if I could borrow a few things from his yard.

“No trouble, Hippy.” Ron knew me.

I lit a cigarette. “Ron, would I ever do anything that could blow back on you?”

He lowered his head and nearly growled. “That is not the same thing as no trouble.”

“We are going to have to agree to disagree, brother.”

Ron left then, because, like I said, he was a smart man. A few minutes later, Max and Sully pulled up. We put what we needed in the bed of Max’s truck and stopped at a hardware store for everything else.

We arrived at Wilson Maddox’s house in a nice Chattanooga suburb. How did I get his address? I didn’t. Max’s teenage son did. Apparently, you really can find anything on the internet these days.

We parked in his driveway, middle of the day. Rang the doorbell to make sure no one was home. No one was, but they had one of those doorbells with the camera. I waved. The way the house was laid out, the camera couldn’t see around the big three car garage. We left, drove around the block, and parked back in the driveway on the far side.

We climbed out of the truck. I nodded to a runner going by and we got to work.

**-(-)-**

Max and I were sitting in his truck at five the next morning in the driveway of a house under construction. With the stagger of the houses, we had a full view of the one Wilson Maddox owned. We sipped coffee, glancing at the dark windows, waiting for Maddox’s alarm to go off.

At 6:10, an annoying beeping came through the speaker that had Max and I both jumping.

Maddox was awake.

There was still some twenty minutes until dawn. The sky was dark, but color tinted the eastern horizon. It wouldn’t be enough.

The windows in the master bedroom remained dark. A light came on three windows down, the last we could see. The master bathroom.

We listened to the man take his morning piss.

We heard the rush of pressurized water when the shower turned on. More water with the sink. The sink turned off. Then came the sound of bearings rolling.

Singing came over the speaker.

“He’s in the shower,” Max said, pulling a control box into his lap. “You ready?”

He was singing America the Beautiful and not doing a bad job of it. “Let’s give him a few seconds. I like this song.”

Max did a double take. “You serious?”

“Well, yeah. You ever listen to the words,” I asked. “They’re true.”

I waited patiently for Maddox to reach from sea to shining sea. Max waited, but not patiently.

“All right,” I said. “Now.”

Max hit the first button. “The door is locked. And,” second button, “lights are out.”

“What the…what the fuck?!” Surprise was Maddox’s first reaction, but it quickly turned to panic. “I can’t see. I’m blind. I’M BLIND!”

Maddox was experiencing the result of the film we installed over his windows that, this time of day, let no light into the room. With the power cut, he was in the pitch of dark.

“You are blind,” I said slowly into the microphone.

“Oh my God!” he shouted over the water.

“Yes?” I used my best God voice, like I was Charlton Heston or something. Don’t know who he is? Look it up?

“Who. . . who are you?”

“You know who the fuck I am.”

“You. . . but. . . God, you just said fuck?!?”

“’Cause I’m pissed Wilson Maddox and I’m pissed at you.”

“Me?” He squeaked. “No, I’ve been good. I go to church. I know I missed a few but—”

“You really think putting a check mark in the church column fixes what you did?”

“What I did?” There was a pause. He was thinking. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve been working a lot lately. I haven’t had time to get in trouble.”

“That Wilson Maddox is where you are wrong.” I let silence ring out because it’s scary shit.

“Wh-what have I done?” He asked slowly, afraid, then picked up his speed. “Whatever it is, I’ll make it better. I promise. I’ll fix whatever I did.”

“What you did was overlook the potential of my children.” That seemed like a God-thing to say. “In this bank of yours, I have given you the power to lead and instead of doing it with insight and strength, you do it with fear.”

“Fear?” he croaked. “I don’t understand.”

“Think back over those you have hired, those you have promoted. Tell me what you see.” I didn’t know who the hell he’d hired, but I could guess.

“Oh,” he said humbly, then found his spine. “But each of those—”

“What is the name of the customer service lady at the Lookout branch?”

That threw him. “Who? Wait….wait, I know this. Amy!”

“Angie,” I snapped. “Say it with me. Angie!”

“Angie,” he shouted.

“Angie,” I roared.

“Angie,” he whimpered. “Angie. Angie. Angie. I won’t forget again.”

“I know you won’t.” I sighed. “What am I going to do with you, Wilson? You’ve allowed yourself to become blind. The world is a beautiful place because I have made each person different. But you, you  want there to be only one kind of donut in the box.”

Max looked at me like I was crazy.

He wasn’t wrong, but I was on a roll.

Or a donut.

“Donuts?” Maddox’s voice was laced with confusion. “God, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Think about if all the donuts were jelly filled. There’d be strawberry stains on every other shirt. Except for the people who are allergic to strawberry, they’d be dead. Same with diabetics. All because of you Maddox.”

“No,” he wailed. “God. No.”

“That is uncool, brother.”

“How do I fix things?” he cried. “Tell me what I need to do. I want more donuts in the box. I swear I do.”

Max elbowed me.

I flipped the microphone off.

“Tell him to give Michelle a promotion.”

I shook my head. “Can’t. He’ll get suspicious. He’ll know. She needs to call him. Today. She needs to stand up for herself. Now, stay quiet.” I slid the switch back on. “You committed the crime, Wilson. You have to rebalance the scales. And however you do it, know. . . I’ll be watching.”

“I’ll do it God. You’ll see. I’ll have a box of a dozen mixed. Glazed and chocolate. A long john. Bavarian, blueberry. Plain and with nuts. You’ll see. I’ll have so many nuts, you’ll think we’re in Georgia instead of Tennessee.

I turned the microphone off. “Alright, turn his lights back on.”

Max did. Immediately, we heard Maddox’s relief. It was a happy, crying that attracted his wife’s attention. Kinda reminded me of that scene in Scrooge, after he comes back from that visit with the ghost of Christmas future, which by the way is fucked up. Why is Christmas future the grim reaper?

A truck pulled up next to us. A guy looking like us lifted his hand. Max went to talk to him, I followed. Bunch a minutes later, we left, playing off like we were at the wrong job. We’d come back later to remove the film over the windows and the other shit we wired up.

Or not.

**-(-)-**

I called Teresa from the privacy of Ron’s guest room. I’d just finished off a maple donut for dessert. “What kind of trouble did you cause today,” she asked.

“Only the good kind,” I said. “Hey, Teresa, the more I think about running over Dexter Green, the less it makes sense.”

“What do you mean?”

“I should have seen him. If he was standing there, in the middle of my usual parking spot, I would have seen him when I pulled in. I would have seen him when I turned the truck around. I would have seen him in the backup camera.”

Teresa took her time, thinking about it. “It was early, wasn’t it? Dark?”

“No more than any other day.”

“I’m going to call my cousin,” she said. “He’s with the Sheriff here in Blackford County. Maybe he can make a call. Don’t do anything that will get you in a newspaper for the next few days. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am. Teresa? I love you.”

“I love you, too, you old hippy.”


After Stuff

Lots of donuts were harmed in the making of this episode. It was necessary. Research and all of that crap.

This is fiction, but some was inspired by things that really happened. Most of them to Hippy. Thank you to Adrian for the story that inspired Maddox’s lesson.

Hey to Josh. Keeping your seat warm. See you soon. Godspeed.

M2D4 Toe Tag: The Accidental Spy

The Accidental Spy by David Gardner is a Suspense Thriller with a minor in satire. Harvey Hudson is a thinker. A professor of Big History, his niche in this world is to understand how things begin and how they end. His lackluster technical writing career began with the end of his collegiate teaching career. Breaking the top commandments for cyber security, he invites industrial espionage into his company’s servers. But, no worries, the CIA is on this…and so are the Russians. And Harvey, he’s the pinball stuck in between, working to make his own way out.

Bottom line: The Accidental Spy is for you if you like thrillers that are more intellectual than physical, where you can cheer for the underdog.

Listen to the first chapter here or wherever you get your podcasts.

Strengths of the story. Harvey Hudson is not your normal thriller hero. He’s a 56-year old thinker, not a man of action, and we meet him at a low point in his life. Yet, he is utterly likeable for his quiet rebellions (eating the skittles out of a birthday basket), his dedication to his mother (paying her mortgage while he lives in a hole), and his unwavering dreamer philosophy (his favorite question is “what if?”). He is the star. The supporting characters are distinctive and have real roles in the story. The logic of the plot holds up and all questions are resolved.  

Where the story fell short of ideal: This is a story that is a hybrid of the thriller and satire genre. The story is short on the high-speed chases and bullet riddled exchanges often expected with a thriller. Consequently, fans of series such as Jason Borne may find The Accidental Spy slow. However, if you have the sense of humor that aligns with Fletch, well, you’ll enjoy Harvey.

M2D4 Toe Tag: Hero Haters

Hero Haters by Ken MacQueen is a thriller. There’s a little bit of hero in all of us, but for some of us, our hero has risen to the test. Stopping a shooter in a school. Pulling a man out of a burning car. Rescuing a child from a well. In Ken MacQueen’s world, ordinary people putting others’ lives ahead of their own are honored with an award for exceptional heroism with the Sedgewick Sacrifice Medal. Quietly, one by one, the recipients are disappearing, recipients vetted by one man: Jake Ockham. As the storm of hatred and disillusion swirls, Jake is again called to the most sublime act of setting others before himself.

Bottom line:  Hero Haters is for you if you like high tension thrillers driven by twisted logic and determined heroes.

Hero Haters Prologue and Chapter 1

Strengths of the story: Hero Haters masterfully stimulates the readers feelings of urgency, angst, and “oh, shit, no.” This is one book where once you start, either you won’t put it down or you’ll put it down fast because you can’t take the intensity. The characters, good and bad, are well developed and feel like real people. The story line is truly well thought out. Ken MacQueen had to do a lot of plotting about what happened to these characters years before the story starts in order for it to be this flawless. The story moves distinctly between Washington State and Western Pennsylvania, and makes it easy to follow what is happening in the two locations.

Where the story fell short of ideal: This one doesn’t, which is unusual for me with thrillers. Usually I get to the end, look back at the story and find all kinds of contrived scenarios, plot holes, and inconsistencies between character motives and actions. That is not the case with Hero Haters. If I have to pick something as weak, I will say I had some trouble keeping the timeline straight at the start of the book. I didn’t realize this until I was about ⅔ way through and while surprising me, didn’t detract from the story.

Hippy Saves the World Episode 4: Bad

Time and my bike both wandered south. The scenery changed gradually from the small sprouts and vivid greens of the Northern late Spring to the full blooms and deep greens of a Southern Summer. It’s one of those little things you don’t notice when you sit still, but on the highway, nature isn’t just background. No, it’s a full character in its own story.

Speaking of characters and stories, it was closing in on a week since I killed Dexter Green. Saying it more often wasn’t making it easier to swallow. The more I think on it, dream on it, I don’t know how it happened. The parking spot was empty when I turned the truck around. I know it was. It had to be or I’da hit him full on. And I didn’t. I backed into him.

So where did he come from?

I was south of Natchez, Mississippi, following 10 toward Baton Rouge, Louisiana. My heart will always be in Indiana, by my stomach was born Cajun. I don’t claim to know how it happened, with the rest of me being from Blackford County, but my stomach was never happier than when it was working on étouffée, jambalaya, gator, crawfish…

Hear that? My stomach just growled.

The sign on the side of the road announced St. Francisville some miles ahead. I knew my bike was taking me back to some of the best memories Teresa and I had. You see, being in construction has afforded me the opportunity to see a good part of this great nation of ours. I spent a bunch of years working in Louisiana on all kinds of projects. I brought Teresa down here for vacations. Like I said, the eating is phenomenal. The hunting and fishing are world class, just like the people. One of our favorites was a lady named Anne Butler. She runs a bed and breakfast on her family’s plantation: the Butler Greenwood Plantation B&B.

I smiled those next miles, feeling a little like I was going home.

I slowed and turned off US 61 onto a drive lined with big old oak trees with their arms stretched out. Spanish moss hung down, creating a private tunnel where even sunlight couldn’t quite get through.

The blue house with butter cream trim, with it’s long, wide front porch and peaks over the second floor windows, was just as I remembered. A woman was on the front steps, a broom in hand. She’d stopped sweeping to watch me.

I parked at the end of the narrow brick walkway to the house, turned the motor off, and swung my leg over. She watched me and I her as I stowed my helmet. “Beautiful day,” I said, starting toward her.

“It is that. Welcome to Butler Greenwood.” Her smile was broad and welcoming, just as I remembered. “I’m Anne, what can I do for you?”

I told her who I was and when I was there last. She said she remembered me, which I didn’t doubt. I’m kinda a memorable guy. “I’m passing through and was hoping you had a bed I could use for a couple nights.”

“I do, with it being the middle of the week. Come on inside.” She turned and led me into the house. “How long have you been ridin’? You like somethin’ to drink? I have some fresh made lemonade or sun tea.”

Now there was a hard decision. The nice punch of real lemon or the kick of caffeine.

Anne seemed to hear the debate going on in my head. She laughed and said, “Arnold Palmer it is. I’ll be right back.” A man entered from a side hallway. “Hello Wyatt, this is Hippy. He just checked in. Would you like to join us in Arnold Palmers?”

The man was in his fifties, his dark hair just starting to get a little salty. He was average height with a build that said he earned his money behind a desk. “Thank you, Anne, that sounds perfect,” he said in an accent born in these parts.

We made our way to the sitting area and the Victorian-styled couches that were as much as much a part of the décor as they were functional. Wyatt Cambridge was a writer and Butler Greenwood Plantation was his retreat.

“I’m on a deadline. At home, I find all kinds of things to distract me from sitting down and working. Something about this place,” he said, looking around, “it’s like she’s my muse, you know.”

“I don’t know much about muses,” I said, “but I know what you mean about Anne’s place being special.”

“Anne is a writer, too. Her tastes are more varied than mine. Louisiana main streets, cookbooks, children’s fiction, true crime.” He chuckled at himself. “I wish I could do that. My head seems to get into one space and stay there.”

“And where does it stay?”

He leaned forward, his eyes shining. “Thrillers. I absolutely love putting characters in inescapable situations and see what they do to survive.”

It was a look that made me glad he played with words, not power tools.

“Here we go,” Anne said, setting a fancy silver tray down on the coffee table between us. She was an excellent hostess, helping Wyatt and me find things to talk about so the conversation never got dull. Not that I’ve ever had that problem.

People are too interesting for talking to get dull.

It turned out Wyatt had just gotten up and he was hungry. I’d been on the road for hundreds of miles and was hungry too. After thanking Anne for the tea, the writer and me took a short drive to Lawson’s Restaurant. It didn’t have the history Anne’s place did, but it had a reputation locals worked their butts off to keep secret. Lucky for me, Wyatt was local.

I climbed in his truck because he wasn’t climbing on my bike. He drove while I took in the scenery, not having to pay attention to the road. The restaurant was small and didn’t look like much. The parking lot was near empty, but it was an odd time between lunch and dinner. Me and Wyatt took seats at the counter. Wyatt pushed his menu away without opening it. “Go with the special,” he advised. “Doesn’t matter what it is. If Louie’s making it, you want to eat it.”

Being a man who believes in the “when in Rome” saying, I pushed my menu away.

The special of the day was crawfish étouffée with a slice of peach pie. Middle of the afternoon, there were only a handful of folks in the place. More than half had the special in front of them.

Wyatt ordered a Pepsi, me a Mountain Dew. The difference ended there. We ordered and those sitting to the left and right of us approved of our choices. The guy next to me, Earl if his shirt was to be believed, pushed his licked-clean plate away.

Me and Wyatt filled the time. I asked what his book was about, and he started telling. I’d been in his character’s position a few times in my life—up shit’s creek without a paddle. I shared how I got out of it and Wyatt, well, he was more than listening. He took out his phone and made notes.

The waitress set a large slice of peach pie with whipped cream on top in front of Earl. “Ohhh,” he said in a hungry growl of appreciation. “Love peach season in Louisiana.”

He dove in like a half-naked man on the high dive in front of Olympic judges.

Then somewhere in the middle, he lost his form and ended up cannonballing into the water.

I slapped him on the back to help clear what he choked on.

“Earl, for goodness sakes,” the waitress said running over. “Small bites, darlin’. Small bites.”

“That ain’t it,” Earl said when he could breathe again. He shoved the pie plate away. “Something’s wrong with the pie. It’s gone bad.”

She shook her head. “Not possible, Earl. Maude just made the pies his morning.”

“Well, you taste it and tell me that’s normal.”

So, she did.

And she spit it right back out. “Oh my. I don’t know what to say.” She removed the offending slice of pie and went to the pie rack behind the counter. The slice she served Earl was the first taken from that particular pie.

A man with the belt size you want in a chef came out carrying two plates with sides of bread. “Maggie, what are you doing out here? Didn’t you hear me ring that food was up?” Louie set the plates in front of me and Wyatt.

“Somethins wrong with the pies,” the waitress Maggie said in a whisper we could all hear.

“Can’t be,” Louie said, immediately rejecting the idea. “You’ve been serving them all day.”

“Earl’s was the first slice from the ones Maude made this mornin’. I tasted it, Louie. Somethins rotten in there.”

Louie grabbed a fork from the tray and, skeptic that he was, took a big old mouthful.

At least he turned away from us before he spit it out.

“I don’t know what’s going on with Maude,” he said sadly. “Take the peach off the menu—”

“But, Louie, it’s peach season!”

“We can’t. We’ll poison half the Parish,” he said, stating the obvious. “Check the apple and the rest first, then change the menu.”

Drama resolved, Wyatt and I dug into our specials. What Louie did in the kitchen would be rightfully described as art. If I was a little disappointed there was no peach pie in my future, the homemade spiced goodness in front of me wiped it away.

“Someone has to do something about Maude,” Earl said, begrudgingly accepting a slice of apple pie. “I would bet you the world the problem with the pie is those kids of hers.”

“Again?” Wyatt asked. “I thought her brother talked to them.”

“Talkin’” Earl said with a snort. “You can’t talk to deadwood and expect the world to change.”

“So true,” I said.

“I’ve a mind to pay her a visit.” Earl’s tone changed to worried. “Just to check in.”

Wyatt elbowed me. “We’ll come with you. Give us a few minutes here.”

In the time it took me and Wyatt to clean our plates, the two gave me the rundown on Maude’s situation. Her husband died about a decade ago. He’d put aside enough for her to get by. They always thought she was the best baker in West Feliciana Parish but then she went and won blue ribbons across the State. Now everyone knew Maude Fontenot was Louisiana’s peach pie queen.

She had two children. Her son, Marc, and daughter, Claudine, were in their forties with lives of their own. Marc was an independent insurance agent with a shiny convertible wrapped in a big picture of his face. Claudine stayed home, being a full-time mother to twin girls who were starting their senior year of high school. Putting it together, Maude wasn’t much older than me, though her kids were younger than mine.

Wyatt followed Earl, turning off the main road and then off the side road to a narrow strip of worn down ground only locals would consider a road. Maude’s house sat behind two oak trees with long drapes of moss. A large branch had fallen some time ago. It was half sunk into the earth and was in the process of being reclaimed by plants and critters.

The house was similar style to Anne’s main building, though roughly half the size. Most of the living was done on the first floor with two windows framed by peaks on the second floor. The porch was low and wide with a single tall back wicker chair near the front door.

From afar, it was charming. Up close, it needed work. I’m not judging, here, just describing that the home of Maude Fontenot was in need of new boards, some nails, paint, shingles, and the like.

Earl knocked on the screen door and announced himself. “Maude? It’s Earl LeBlanc.” He walked in then, Wyatt and me following. “You here, Maude.”

A woman poked her head into the hallway. “Earl?” She smiled as her small body stepped fully into the hall. “Well, isn’t this a nice surprise? Come in, come in. What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? How about a nice slice of peach pie?”

Earl tripped over a crack in the floor, but Wyatt picked it up smoothly. “If it isn’t too much trouble. This is Hippy, he’s from Indiana. Earl and I were telling him that he hasn’t had peach pie until he’s had yours.”

Maude liked that. She stood a little taller and escorted us into the kitchen. “You come right this way, Hippy. Rest your bones after such a long trip.” Like the outside of the house, repairs were needed. There was water damage in a corner of the ceiling, and something had snacked on some of the baseboard trim. But the room was cleaned ‘til it shined.

I liked Maude instantly. You’d have to be a heartless bastard not too. She brewed coffee made strong with chicory and served it beside four slices of pie. “Fresh made this morning,” she said.

Me, Earl, and Wyatt looked between each other.

“Go on, now,” she said, sitting down herself and taking a bit of pie. The color drained from her face. “Oh, no. How could I make such a stupid mistake?”

“It isn’t that bad,” Earl lied.

Maude glanced at him. A sharp woman, she knew. “The pies I sent to Louie’s. How many people?”

“Just me,” Earl said, not lying. “Louie and Maggie pulled the rest. They won’t tell no one.”

“Us neither,” Wyatt added quickly. “We were worried about you, Maude. That’s why we came.”

She squeezed his hand. “I have good friends. I was filling the pies this morning when Claudine came to visit. She is having dresses made for the girls for a cotillion. Claudine was short this month and needed help with the down payment to the dress maker. I told her no. We ain’t rich. If she wanted that kind of haute couture, she had to pay for it herself.” Maude hands trembled. “Well, that did not go over well, as you can imagine. Somewhere in all of it, I mixed up the sugar and salt. Stupid, stupid mistake.”

Maude aged ten years in telling the story. The happy, proud woman was reduced to embarrassed, ashamed.

“It was a mistake,” Wyatt said. “In a few weeks, you’ll look back and laugh. Mistakes make the best stories. No one wants to hear about the time everything went perfectly like it was supposed to.”

“You and yours stories,” Maude said, stopping when the sound of a performance engine came through the open windows. “That’ll be Marc.” She rose, smoothed her dress, and fixed a small smile on her face. “Well, it’s a day for surprises,” she called when he stepped onto the back porch.

Marc was dressed in a collared shirt and pressed pants and didn’t hide a disappointed expression. “Momma,” he said, coming into the kitchen and going to kiss Maude’s cheek. “I didn’t know you’d be entertainin’.”

“What entertainin’,” she said. “It’s just a few friends. You know Earl and Wyatt, and this is Hippy. He’s here all the way from Indiana.”

“Nice to meet you,“ I said. “Your mother is a charming woman.”

“She is,” he said, already done with me. “Momma, can I speak to you in the other room?”

Maude’s fake smile slipped. “Is something wrong?”

“No, ‘course not. It’s just family business.”

We couldn’t stop Maude from leaving the kitchen and Marc was bound and determined she would. The house wasn’t big and every door in it was open. With the three of us doing impressions of church mice, we heard every word the son-of-a-bitch said.

What a minute. That’s not right, ‘cause than would be Maude was a bitch. Let’s try again. . .

With the three of us doing impressions of church mice, we heard every work the asshole in insurance salesman’s clothes said.

“You promised you’d write the check,” Marc said in a tone a son should never use with his mother.

“I did not. You said I should write the check.”

“Well, I need it. Now.”

“Then go to a bank,” Maude said sharply, standing her ground.

“I can’t go to a bank. Where’s Daddy’s coin collection?”

“You are not touching your father’s things.”

“I’m going to inherit them eventually. What is the difference?”

“The difference is I’m not dead yet!”

The three of us were standing. I regretted not stopping at the Plantation for the Ka-Bar knives in my saddlebags. This boy needed a lesson.

“I can’t believe you. This conversation’s not over, Momma. I’ll be back for dinner. We’ll talk about it then.” The front screen door slammed shut.

Maude didn’t come back into the kitchen.

Quietly, the three of us went into her front parlor. Maude stood in the picture window, hands fisted, head bowed. Wyatt called her name. She shook her head without turning around.

We knew, we all knew.

She cried.

Maude rode with Earl back to Anne’s. She settled into the room next to Wyatt’s and, between the three of us, she was set for the next few nights. While Anne tended to Maude, Earl, Wyatt and I contemplated her children.

“I know I’m new here but what I see is elder abuse. The sneaky, sleezy financial kind where the people who should be looking out most for Maude are bleeding her dry.” I looked from Wyatt to Earl. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

It was Earl who spoke first. “You’re not, but what can we do about it? She’s not going to go against her kids, and it won’t look like anything to the police.”

Wyatt agreed. “It’ll be our word against theirs and Maude will be stuck in the middle.”

I smiled. “That’s why we’re not going to the cops. We are going to teach those kids a lesson. Where can we find some climbing rope, fifty pounds of raw meat, and a couple of alligators?”

Wyatt was an artist, a creative type. What he lacked in mechanical capacity, he made up for in creativity. More than made up for. His idea was better than mine. More twisted if that’s possible.

Earl, it turned out, was a former ocean freight captain. He had skills that were illegal in some countries. He’d dealt with pirates, real ones. A couple greedy, grown-up children were tiny little blips on his radar.

And then you had me. An old contractor who specialized in getting in and out of tight places.

We split up, each with a shopping list. Earl’s son, Junior, met me at the hardware store. It took less than a half hour to fill the bed of his truck. He pulled around Maude’s house, picking out a choice spot under the thick branches of an old oak. For two strangers, we worked together well, building a six-sided pen that wasn’t sturdy enough to be permanent but would do the job.

Junior took on the job of climbing the tree, moving with the speed and confidence of a man used to being off his feet. He tested the strength of the tree limbs with his weight. I did the figuring and the rigging.

By the time his father and Wyatt arrived, we had our part ready.

“Shouldn’t we have something cooking in the kitchen,” Wyatt asked, shaking his hands to get rid of nervous energy. “They think they’re coming for dinner.”

“You can go ahead and cook if it makes you feel better,” I said, leaning back on a kitchen chair.

Wyatt opened the refrigerator and got busy. “What if Claudine brings her girls?”

“She won’t,” Earl said. “Maude stuck to the script. If we’re right and she is only interested in the money, she’ll come alone.”

A quarter to eight, the sun was getting close to the horizon. Blue was tending toward night to the east while the west was painted in all the colors of the rainbow.

Well, not green. But all the others.

We finished off the pork chops and gravy Wyatt fried up, each of us putting some bills on the table to repay Maude.

Earl put on his hat. “Come on, Junior. Time to get in position. They should be here in ten minutes or so.” Junior pulled on his own hat and followed his father out the back door.

“You know what you’re gonna do?” I asked Wyatt. In some ways, he had the hardest job.

“Not exactly, but I’ll get it done. Y’all just be ready.”

I left him to my own work. I double checked the rigging, making as sure as I could that everything was under control.

An engine approached. It was the same, smooth sound as in the afternoon. Marc Fontenot was in the house.

“Hey, Marc,” Wyatt called from the front of the house. “That is one beautiful car.”

“Wyatt.” Marc spat the name like a curse. “What are you doing here?”

“Maude invited me. Hey, can you help me with some firewood? Your mom thought a bon fire would be nice tonight.”

Wyatt came up the path next to the house, Marc trailing him to the large, neat stack of firewood. Wyatt filled Marc’s arms with wood which was when Earl and Junior set on him. Marc fought, but it was wasted energy. He was got. When he couldn’t overpower the men, well, he made enough noise to wake the dead.

Another engine neared, this one not nearly as smooth.

“Junior, Wyatt, get him in the house,” I ordered, revising the plan on the fly. “Earl, we’ll have to handle her.”

Marc shouted for his mother and then his sister as Junior bodied him into the house. The screen door slapped shut and that was the end of Marc’s noise. Earl sauntered up the driveway, stopped behind Marc’s car. He waited patiently for Claudine to kill the motor and get out of her vehicle.

“Hey, Earl, what are you doin here?” I couldn’t see her from where I was, but her voice was suspicious.

“Your mom invited me and Junior over for barbecue. I brought some steaks over from my cousin’s shop. We’re in the back.” He turned and started toward me.

Claudine followed him and soon I got a good look at her. She was her mother’s daughter, at least in looks. It was yet to be proven how far the peach had fallen from the tree. “I thought she wanted a private, family dinner?”

Earl shrugged. “Guess she changed her mind. Your brother’s in the house. This is Hippy. He’s from Indiana. Hippy, this is Claudine, Maude’s daughter.”

“Nice to meet you.” I held out my hand.

Claudine was the kind of woman who put make-up on whether she was leaving the house that day or not. She looked nice, and would be pretty when she smiled.

She wasn’t smiling now.

Good manners had been ingrained in her. So, want to or not, Claudine took my hand.

And Earl took her.

His arms locked around her, Earl lifted Claudine off her feet and carried her toward the stage we’d built. “Junior, bring Marc out.”

Marc marched out the back door, his hands up and his mouth shut. The cooperation came courtesy of a Colt .45 in his lower back. Earl stepped onto the stage we made and went to the chairs from Maude’s dining room. With higher backs and arm rests, they were made for the head of the table. Earl tossed Claudine into one.

“The other one is for you,” Junior said, giving him a shove.

I went behind the big tree, started the generator, then stood next to it, control box in my hand.

Claudine studied the four lengths of rope attached to her chair. In the dark shadows of the trees, the black ropes were invisible. “What the hell is this,” she spat.

“I don’t know,” Marc bit out, then looked to Wyatt, who stood front and center. “Where’s our mother?”

“With someone who cares for her. Don’t worry, she knows you’re here.” A small smile played at the corner of his mouth.

If I were them, I’d be afraid.

Marc sneered at him. “Whatever this is about, I’m not playing.”

He went to stand up, but I was faster. The ropes snapped taut and the chairs lifted into the air. It was only six inches, but Claudine screamed like it was a mile.

“What the fuck?!” Marc shouted while Claudine ordered, “Put us down.”

I raised the chairs slowly. Those two weren’t tied in. I did my best to make the lift smooth and balanced but they could be tipped. Junior and I proved it during testing. Lean to far in any direction and gravity did what gravity was wont to do.

So slow was the order of the evening. For now.

One foot. Two feet. Four feet.

Junior and Earl worked quickly, pulling the plywood flooring off the frame. The four gators, each good six footers, twisted and turned, leaping and snapped at the sudden change in environment.

“Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!” Marc screamed over and over, his head and body twisting until his chair looked like one of those swing rides at a fair.

“Stop, Marc! You’re gonna crash into me.” Claudine pulled her feet up and when her brother did swing her way, she kicked out at his chair. Then she glowered down at us. “Why are you doing this? What did we ever do to you?”

“Why do you think it’s acceptable to steal from your mother?” Wyatt asked the question, calm and civil.

“I never stole a dime.” Claudine leaned forward, hands on the front ropes.

“I didn’t either,” Marc shouted, leaning back, less sure of his weight.

Wyatt waved his hand, rolling it as though bored. “Whined. Begged. Coerced. Guilted. Pleaded. Tricked. Implored. Beseeched. She may have given it, but it wasn’t willingly. Drop them down, Hippy.”

I hit the down button, letting it go for one Mississippi of a second before punching the stop button.

They made as much noise as a pair of humans could, but there was noone but us to hear them.

“Shut. Up,” Wyatt ordered. “Do we have your attention?”

“I know where you live Wyatt Cambridge. You think long and hard about that before you do anything else.” Marc’s bravado was as solid as smoke. He barked with authority though, even foaming at the mouth some.

“And I know where you live, Marc Fontenot,” Wyatt said calmly. Then he shook his head. “What would your Daddy think of the way the two of you have been milking your mother? You have a lot to answer for and even more to be ashamed of.”

“Fuck y’all,” he said, pumping his legs to start his chair to swinging. “You have no say in our lives. No say in our mother’s.”

“Marc. Marc!” Claudine screamed over him. “Stop moving. The tree limb. I think it’s cracking.”

The two of shut up. All of our eyes were on the branch Marc hung from.

It was creaking all right.

Wyatt took advantage of the break to interrogate the witnesses. They didn’t deny what they did, siphoning money off their mother. But in their version of the world, this waan’t a problem. Their father had left a nice amount of savings, it was their inheritance. The house was paid off and between her pies and social security, their mother had enough to pay the bills.

What more did she need?

But them? They had needs.

Marc was over-extended on his business. Oh, he called it re-investing but, in plain English, he spent money he didn’t have. He already went to the bank. They were one of those knocking on his door for payment.

Claudine was under the delusion that she was re-living her teen years through her daughters. She talked in the ‘we’. When we do college visits…it matters what dress we wear to the dance…we can’t be seen in clothes from big box stores. We have standards to live up to!

The sky had been fully night for some time when Wyatt looked to Earl and then to me. “Shut her down, Hippy. We aren’t getting anywhere.”

“Finally, you’ve come to your senses,” Claudine said. “When the police hear about this stunt, your next chair is in a jail cell.”

I did shut the generator down and I locked the gear into position on the winch, leaving their feet hanging about four feet above the gators.

“You boys meet me back here around seven,” Earl said. “I promised I’d have these guys back home by ten tomorrow. Come on, Junior. Let’s go home.”

And then there were two. Wyatt and me.

“You’re gonna let us down, aren’t you Wyatt?” Claudine asked, infusing charm in her drawl.

Wyatt took a deep breath and shook his head. “I knew your father. He was a good, hardworkin’ man. Your mother loves you both, somethin’ I’ve come to know you don’t deserve. You’re gonna spend some time, now, thinkin’ about how to make this right.”

Marc decided to try a little sugar, too. “Be reasonable, Wyatt. You can’t leave us danglin’ over a gator pit.”

The two of them sat up there, on their chair swings, looking like they were auditioning for a circus or something. They twisted, swung, and turned. A breeze came in, rocking the branch.

I chuckled. “It’s like that old nursery rhyme. Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and Maude won’t have to worry about no one messing up her pies any more.”

Wyatt, he laughed. “I think you got something a little wrong there.”

“Seems to be about right to me. Let’s go check on Maude.”

“What about us,” Marc shouted to our backs. “I’m sorry. Claudine is, too. We’ll…we’ll figure out a way to repay Mom.”

Promises followed us as we walked down the driveway. Then they turned on each other, blaming, complaining, and denying as we climbed into Wyatt’s truck. His engine finally drowned them out.

“That was intense,” Wyatt said, grinning ear-to-ear when we were on the road. “Woo!”

“You did good for a writer. Nice and calm.”

“This is going in a book. Hell, yeah, it is.” He backed off the speed when we bounded hard enough to hit our heads on the dirt road. “You think they’ll be there in the morning? They fall out of those chairs and the gators aren’t going to be happy.”

I shrugged, not that Wyatt could see it. “It’s in their hands. Just like it always has been.”

Before turning in, I gave Teresa a call. Told her where I was and how the Butler Greenfield Plantation was everything we remembered. She told me about her day. I did the same.

“That’s all you did today? Rode, ate crawfish, and saw some gators?”

“Why do you sound suspicious,” I asked.

“That just sounds too normal for you. I’m not going to go online tomorrow and find you at the center of some fantastic story, am I? Did you try wrestling those gators or something?”

“That hurts, Teresa. I’m rubbing my heart to take away the sting.”

“Uh huh.”

“I met a coupla guys down here and helped them teach a lesson to adult children who never learned the one about not stealing. They were bad peaches, Teresa, and they were ruining the pies.”

“Do you hear how much sense you don’t make?” She sighed. “It’s been a week Hippy.”

“I know. I’m figuring it out.”


End Stuff

You probably can guess, but no alligators were harmed in the making of this episode. Can’t say the same for nasty children who steal from their parents.

The Butler Greenwood Plantation B&B is a real place and Hippy highly recommends it. Anne Butler is a real person and remarkably brave to let me and Hippy write her into this story. Thank you, Anne. Below are the links to Anne’s website. Check out her B&B and her books.

B&B Website: http://www.butlergreenwood.com/index.html

B&B Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063647916807

Books from UL Press: https://ulpress.org/search?q=anne+butler

Welcome to February, Josh. Remember Red Bull is not a food group. Godspeed.